There’s no way a drag boat family could ever be accused of what our title says, right? Boat families being dysfunctional, ha, give me a break. Aren’t all drag boaters and crews nearly perfect in all that they do?
Did you know that churches can be dysfunctional too? Yes, you read it right. Churches aren’t perfect either. If you’ve watched the news over the last few decades, you’ve surely seen some unbelievable stuff that’s taken place within the hallowed walls of churches in various denominations.
A dysfunctional family is a phrase that’s surfaced over the last several generations normally referring to a “family gone wrong,” dealing with diseased, demented, delusional, disabled, or sin-damaged descendants. Someone or something caused one or more members of a family to not get along with others. Causes can be serious behavioral or emotional problems, or minor disagreements leading to family break-ups and estrangement. George Burns once said “Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family—in another city.”
In racing, some drag boat teams may become dysfunctional because of over-active egos, personality conflicts, pride, jealousy or incompetence. But keep in mind, just because a team doesn’t win regularly or isn’t the fastest boat is not a sign of a dysfunctional team.
Race teams are like a family, and there are no perfect families. The championship caliber teams are the ones who work closely together utilizing their gifts to promote the team as a whole, striving towards a common goal [winning].
If we practice carrying our own load, always work hard, enjoy relationships, don’t murmur and complain, don’t maliciously injure others, keep our noses clean, mind our own business, follow the “Golden Rule,” and trust God, we’d all be much better off.
Just in case you aren’t aware of it, the very first family on earth was a dysfunctional group. With only Adam and Eve (the first parents and the first one’s to sin) and their two boys Cain and Able (the first children) dysfunction started early on. When one of the first four people kills his own brother, devilish dysfunction discovered an early foothold on the human race.
One thing to always remember about how death and dysfunction came about…the cause wasn’t the apple in the tree…it was the pair on the ground.
We’ve tried to break the chain, and many families are living in proper relationship with each other and with those with whom they live, work, and interact. God designed mankind to live together and get along agreeably on this planet. When compared to the vast size of the universe, we’re stuck with each on other on this small sphere in our solar system.
Feeling some pressure today to be dysfunctional? Allow God’s handiwork to relieve any burdens as even “The heavens declare the glory of God” (Psalm 19:1). So, why can’t people just give Christ a chance?
Racing comprises a small part of this planet when compared to the overall picture of God’s plan for us living in harmony…but with free will to make our own choices. If we look at all the choices we’re confronted with, it’s no wonder we have problems understanding one another and getting along lovingly with everyone.
In racing, everyone comes to the track of his or her own free will to enjoy themselves connecting in an activity they see as a way to relax, have fun, get away from the “real world” for a couple of days, and be around others with the same desires for competition and the need for speed.
It’s mainly a safe zone (physically and mentally) inside the confines of a racetrack (although some people who over-indulge have caused minor problems), but then again it’s hard to get thousands of people in one place and not have some type of dysfunctional situation.
A dysfunctional drag boat driver could cause serious problems trying to wheel his drag boat in a way that is not in the best interest of his team or the sport. A sanctioning body surely wouldn’t want to have to deal with dysfunctional drivers at every race, as it would cause more than enough extra headaches within the event itself.
Spiritually speaking, dysfunctional behavior can cause headaches for the church too. We at Team RFC have had a few staff members over the years that caused problems which mandated us to release them for the sake of the integrity of the ministry (and God).
Ministries are held to higher standards “spiritually speaking” than businesses or racing organizations. Companies should run their business by the principles of the Bible whenever possible, but, when you are dealing with people of different backgrounds, different faith, and different cultures, it makes life on the job far more demanding.
For a racing team to jell and be competitive enough to be a winner with the chance of becoming a championship team comprised of diverse individuals, it means that the people leave their dysfunctions at the gate when they arrive. Actually people should check their dysfunctions at home before they arrive and attempt to do their job, and in all reality, dysfunctions should be left at the foot of the cross of Christ.
God didn’t create people to be perfect, but He did create people to learn, to be nurtured by others, and continually grow in grace and truth. Grace and truth will enable the majority of people to individualize their own personalities while fitting in where their God given gifts take them. Being in-tune with the spiritual side of life will prompt purpose driven people to plan to put dysfunction out of the picture.
A dysfunctional engine may choke, sputter, misfire, gulp to much fuel, or detonate and eventually burn up or blow up to the dismay of the crew chief. An internal combustion engine was invented to run in harmony with all of the parts working in unison. None of the many components of an engine can work on an individual basis. A dysfunctional motor will end up being the weak link in the quest for a winning run at the championship.
To become a non dysfunctional member of a family or team, ready to embark on a prepared plan and purpose in life, means maintaining a high level of maturity, readily able to handle responsibilities of relationships, while applying basic life principles whenever possible.
We all must choose the attitudes we put on each day…not only the clothes we decide to wear. What we choose to wear tells a lot about our self…but the attitude we choose to wear tells even more. Therefore, choose to work through the consequences of imperfections you see in others who also have to live with the consequences of your imperfections.
The man or woman who will guide his or her team through dark valleys with the lamp of God’s Word and blanket them with prayer is God’s idea of a mature human being. When difficulties enter into team relationships (and they always do), you’re tempted to retreat into selfishness, and seek to protect your own happiness. People shouldn’t look first to sociologists or psychologists—they look to their Heavenly Father first.
The home has always been God’s primary place of nurture and growth. In designing groups of people, God tried to create a place where all people could be nurtured in godly wisdom and faith. God doesn’t give individuals to school systems or church congregations—but to families (and race teams) to be loved and treated in close relationships.
So, what does all this mean? What does the church and spiritual life have to do with racing or dysfunction? Life is like a family. How do we understand what the church is supposed to do? We watch godly people relating to each other, and we learn what God intends for relationships.
In the same vein, as a racing team, godly leaders (owners, drivers, crew chiefs etc.) should relate to team members and others involved by learning what God intends for all of His people whether in church or in the racing sphere of influence.
Some racing teams become the “only church” unsaved fans or non-believing teams ever see. As they watch a team leader spiritually nourishing and cherishing his crew, they learn something about the way the Lord nourishes and cherishes the church. As they see the crew respond in submission, and the teammates treating their leader with respect and honoring them with obedience, they learn how God’s people respond to the Lord of the church. Your crew thus becomes a microcosmic demonstration of the Body of Christ in the world.
Scripture calls for us to adopt attitudes and actions characterized by God’s grace so that we can accept and live with the realities of imperfect human relationships. Without the application of God’s grace, the gears of our relationships may grind and eventually bring our relationships to a screeching halt.
For the gals, the woman’s role is to model true femininity through character traits that are precious to God and impressive to her friends. An emphasis on her inner character over her outer appearance is necessary.
For the guys, the man’s role is to model genuine masculinity, unselfishness, and sensitive leadership that strengthens the team and gives dignity to one and all.
As the family of God, we’re invited to be courageous for the kinds of risks that come from bold faith…not dysfunctional doubt. Even when you’re born into a dysfunctional, emotionally-distant family, God can still turn a curse into a blessing. So, trust Him.
If the general public would stop, smell the roses, and do their part to break the chain of “dysfunction,” here’s what I recommend, and it’s right out of the Scriptures, “If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care—then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand” (Philippians 2:1-4 MSG).